Gentleness allows children to forge deep connections and demonstrate remarkable empathy—traits that will benefit them as they grow. However, we live in a society that tends to reward assertiveness and boldness. As parents, we feel this tension too, and it’s easy to grow anxious when our gentle children seem overlooked.

But why do some children hang back while others charge ahead? At what point does “niceness” become a liability?

As parents, we rightfully emphasize emotional awareness, encouraging our children to talk about their feelings so they can learn to manage them. But sometimes, we confuse teaching emotional awareness with satisfying our own need for control. We ask questions not only to help them but to ease our own discomfort with not knowing what’s wrong. For sensitive children, this can feel overwhelming—they need time to process their emotions in their own way. Our well-meaning probing can feel invasive when what they really need is space.

• Sometimes, it feels safer to do nothing than to risk failure.

• Recognizing the role of anxiety in procrastination is the first step toward breaking this cycle.

• Fatigue from burnout can feel like laziness, but it's your body's way of telling you to slow down